Kerry Admits Injections Then Recants, Claims Confusion

Funny story written by Blind Fool -••-

Thursday, 29 January 2004

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The Botoxless Candidate

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL-John Kerry, the 60-year-old Democratic Presidential frontrunner, admitted to Botox injections but later said that he was mistaken and claimed he hadn't had them.

The confusion occurred when a French reporter asked him about the brewing controversy and slightly mispronounced the name of the popular toxic substance that relaxes facial muscles making one appear younger.

"I said yes to the question," Kerry explained, "because I though he said buttocks injections. Of course I've had buttocks injections; what good looking guy hasn't? It wasn't until later when I was told that he meant Botox."

Kerry continued, "I have never had any cosmetic surgery of any kind, including Botox. Heck, I don't even iron my shirts. I've never altered my physical appearance other than brushing my hair, or makeup appliqué for a televised debate."

The emotionless candidate then left the press conference after his spokesperson finished the statement for him because his mouth was not functioning (for some reason or another).


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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