Crawford, Texas - (Ass Mess): Failure to check Corrupt Bastards Club turf wars around the world's oil-rich hot spots has been blamed squarely on the Bush Administration by NATO Secretary-General Jaap de Hoop Scheffer during his two day stay at Predator Chapel Ranch.
The NATO chief has warned George Bush that his cosy arrangements in allowing CBC members to take lucrative hydrocarbons franchises from Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin fell way short of traditional policing methods and threatened to bring down his Administration 'within a matter of weeks if not days'.
De Hoop Scheffer also said that tolerating the madman Putin as an equal partner lay at the heart of the Bush Administration's 9/11 dilemma which could not rely solely on blaming Taleban smack dealers for the outrage when UK Prime Monster Tony Blair is finally kicked out of office next month.
White House spokesman Tony Fatto said the President knew that NATO still kept all his criminal records under review including those relating to him and his partner Mr Grassi Noel on their fledgeling debut as Corrupt Bastards Club hirelings outside the Book Suppository in Dallas, Texas on November 22 1963.
Last night's home-style Crawford summit also entertained Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Defense Secretary Robert M Gates for a lavish Texas-style dinner whose menu included traditional local haute cuisine such as green chilli cheese grits souffle, roast muskrat in bean-crust sauce, groundhog-flavor waffles and non-alcoholic penis colada sherbert sorbet a la Mexicane.
The NATO chief is expected to make a full recovery today.