Marine Corps Changes Hymn

Funny story written by Cal Jennings

Sunday, 6 May 2007

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The Halls of Montezuma's Revenge

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - "From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli," was the verse sung by millions of U.S. Marines as they marched. Today that was changed. The Marines' Hymn, most sacred to all Marines, was re-written after a perplexing incident.

After Alberto Gonzales was appointed to oversee Marine nutrition, all Marine Cook/Deckhands were replaced with illegal Mexican immigrants. Gonzales changed the USF Job Class Description JOB CODE: 6561 JOB TITLE to state that only illegal Mexican immigrants could be employed in the position. As a result, all of the Marines came down with "Montezuma's Revenge."

"We no have that problemo in our countree," said Marine Cook/Deckhand Pedro Morales. "We only have that problem when we come to your countree."

After making the statement, Marine Cook/Deckhand Pedro Morales was immediately fired for having the ability to speak English.

Alberto Gonzales was approached about the problem, but he exclaimed, "You whites are just prejudiced! You're just a bunch of nappy headed hos! I'll call LULAC and the NAACP!" When it was clear that this problem was not going to go away easily, the Marine Corps changed the lyrics of the Marines' Hymn to, "From the halls of Montezuma's Revenge to the shores of Tripoli."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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