Bong Hits for Kenneth Starr

Funny story written by Cal Jennings

Sunday, 6 May 2007

image for Bong Hits for Kenneth Starr
Kenneth Starr Rolling Big Bambu Joint

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Alaska - Kenneth Starr, who petitioned the U.S. Supreme Court to take up Alaska's "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" case, a dispute involving a high school student, Joseph Frederick, a banner, and a tough school policy, was arrested taking bong hits and rolling a "Big Bambu" sized joint. He was in posession of over 500 pounds of California sinsemillia.

Starr had taken the school's side, pro bono, and was preparing to proscecute the case in the Supreme Court. Starr, gained national prominence while investigating former President Clinton's Whitewater land deal and relationship with Monica Lewinsky.

Coming to Fredrick's aid, Doug Mertz said the case would be cut and dry because the event was neither mandatory for students nor held on school grounds.

The appeals court sided with the high school student and ruled former Juneau-Douglas High School principal Deborah Morse violated former student Joseph Frederick's free speech rights. This was a major blow to the Bush administration which advocates removing all rights from American citizens in order to "protect them from the terrorist threat."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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