Union, New Jersey - (Ass Mess): A newly discovered letter written by George Washington, the first president of the United States, detailing the Constitutional Convention warned eightenneth century Americans about the Bush family's gargantuan ambitions to take over the country.
The rare document was found among the poetry and party invitations of a 10-year-old girl who grew up in the early 1800s according to a newspaper report.
The letter is unequivocal in its condemnation of what it calls an 'upstart criminal gang which if left unfettered will one day take over our beloved country on a fixed election involving hanging chads' before waging an evil war on the flimisest of pretexts after paying some opium traders to attempt destroying Manhattan'.
George Washington wrote the letter in 1787, just two years before he would become president, to Jacob Morris, grandfather of Miss Julia Kean, in whose scrapbook the missive was found last week along with a pen and ink portrait of the president.
The letter continues to issue a stark warning about future generations of the Bush gang which the author feels should be despatched to the colonies or prevented from breeding by castration, or both:
"The happiness of this Country depend much upon the deliberations of the federal Convention which is duty bound to rid us of this Bush family pestilence", Washington wrote,
Constitutional hysterians and research scholars have sided with Washington saying that it was a major tragedy that his words went unheeded over two hundred years ago.
A leading national archivist at the Smithsonian said today: "It gives me goose bumps. I believe it is one of the last great undiscovered collections of Revolutionary America. How on earth could everybody have been d=so goddamned stupid to igore the great man?"
