Teacher Forces Student to Urinate in a Bottle

Funny story written by Cal Jennings

Friday, 27 April 2007

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"If I could save pee in a bottle," sang the teacher.

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Maryland - A Maryland teacher instructed three boys who needed a bathroom break to urinate into a soda bottle. School policy requires eighth-graders to be escorted to the restroom. The teacher suggested the bottle Friday when an escort was not available.

The teacher, whose name was not released, said, "I always wanted a foursome. I love golden showers, but since I was afraid of school policy, I dared not molest them in class. I figured that watching them pee in a bottle was the next best thing."

A poll at NBC4 TV showed that 60% of the people thought that the teacher should be punished. The other 40% are into golden showers themselves.

Preston Whittington told The Salisbury Steak Daily Time that he was outraged that his 13-year-old nephew had to piss in a bottle. "I guess they either have to hold it or mess themselves," he told the paper. "I'll sue the pants off of those b*stards for this," he cried.

President Bush had Preston Whittington arrested for trying to file a frivolous lawsuit. Whittington was not charged, however, as being an unlawful enemy combatant.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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