Long believed to be a bright if dull woman married to a dumb if dull husband, librarian Laura Bush finally succumbed to the despair of being trapped in a marriage with a mass murderer. Witnesses on the banks of the Potomac reported that the First Lady walked as if in a drug-induced stupor into the river. The poor woman did not even try to support herself in the water but sank like mad Ophelia amid the pink cherry blossoms of a Washington spring.
That is, until Heliocopter One appeared to snatch the sad creature from her would be chosen watery grave.
Surrounded by Secret Service Agents, the soaked to the bone first lady agreed with her husband's policies against assisted suicide: "Life is a gift from god and those who throw that free gift back into the face of the Creator do not deserve to live. George and especially I support capital punishment for all suicides and the sooner the better."
