Serious Depression Strikes American Bald Eagle

Written by Pointer

Saturday, 17 February 2007

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Bird Therapist finds clinical depression in American Eagle

Ornithologists have been observing a kind of Avian Clinical Depression (ACD) among American Bald eagle populations in the last six years: "They can't sleep or sleep too much. No appetite or over-eating and low affect have all been observed." Bird-watcher Lovey Feathrd-Frend told Audabon Society reporter,Watchman Pajaros.

At first the speculation surrounded the baldness.Experts employed then human model and suggested that just as people got bummed out over serious hair loss so too must our eagle brothers and sisters be tanking over their baldness.then a new theory was advanced as eagle watchers in remote locations of the US discovered that the further eagles were from news centers the less depressed they were.

"Only eagles who had nests near cities with news of the Disasterous Bush presidency suffered most seriously!",according to "Eagle-eye" Byrdbrane, President of the US Ornithological Society, "We think the depression is due to the decline of the American society under Bush.Apparently two birds in a Bush are in big trouble!"

In a related story a pair of eagles on a ledge outside of Fox News in upstate NY suffered no signs of depression.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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