Trump Invites Self To Make Commencement Address At West Point

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Tuesday, 28 April 2020

image for Trump Invites Self To Make Commencement Address At West Point
"Not another me, me, me speech by that guy."

The horror!

And what kind of inspirational advice can Donald Trump present during his commencement address before the 2020 graduating class of West Point?

The greatest piece of advice: Don't have a one-nighter with a porn star the same month your wife gives birth to your child. She'll get really ticked off if she finds out.

Or: How to avoid making public your tax returns when you have something really incredible to hide, like, maybe, tax fraud, money laundering shenanigans, an entire secret fourth family you’re supporting?

"And females in the class, take a smoke. Buddies, in case there's another huge, really huge war like say maybe a nuclear World War III, in the Middle East, or keep going to the far, far, keep going even farther east…"

Hand motion indicating curvature of the earth, around and around and around, and hitting the podium...

"Somewhere in Southeast Asia, and you have the good sense to want to skip that kind of war, just find some quack to sign off saying you have bone spurs. It worked for me, like smack. But the downside was that I had to battle VD for the next ten years."

He could expand on his domestic program by addressing the issue of building the wall and keeping out the Mexicans who are rapists, murderers, drug addicts, and drug dealers.

Fingers crossed that there aren’t any West Point graduates of Mexican descent.

And in summation, Donald Trump could throw in some practical okay words, like if you get into a jam, blame it on somebody else, anybody else, the man in the moon. He presently blames everything on either Barack Obama or Hillary.

Hopefully, someone in the audience will start chanting, “Lock him up. Lock him up. Lock him up.”

Afterward, if criticized or ridiculed for giving such a destructive commencement address, he’ll excuse it by saying he was being sardonic. Sarcastic didn’t excuse his disinfectant coronavirus cure.

If still criticized, he’ll insist that everybody loved his West Point commencement address. Many, many people from all over loved it.

“Only the fake news didn’t like it.”

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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