HOLLYWEIRD, CA--Aging celebrity Arnold Schwarzenegger isn't as photogenic as he used to be-not that the camera ever really loved him all that much, even in his Mr. Universe days.
As he's gotten older, he's developed wattles. The fleshly flaps hanging from his throat and chin have caused some to mistake him for a turkey or a lizard.
He's a lot more wrinkled, too, and his nose appears to have spread.
It's probably best not to mention the moobs all that silicone has caused; they're prominent enough to have caused some women to wonder whether he wears a bra under his shirt.
Although he talks the talk of the tough guy, he sure doesn't--and cannot--walk the walk. In fact, he tends to totter, rather than to stride. That's the real reason his ratings as the host of Celebrity Apprentice sagged lower than his pecs and the true reason, President Donald Trump says, The Terminator was terminated from the position.
Schwarzenegger claimed he quit because Trump is "involved" with the show.
"The truth," Trump said, "is his ratings are pathetic."
Learning Trump blames him for the show's abysmal ratings, Schwarzenegger said he would go to New York, ask Trump to meet with him, and then "smash his face into the table."
The Secret Service is looking into Schwarzenegger's threats against the president.
It's possible the next dumbbells the bodybuilder-cum-actor lifts will be in a prison gym.