Snoopy was arrested on Wednesday night for public drunkness and public urination. He was released on bail a few hours later.
The Aflac duck picked him up and explained to the media that middle class Americans understood the difficulty of dealing with a job layoff. Snoopy's employer laid him off and canceled his insurance. In his dispair, he went to a neighborhood bar to drown his sorrows. On the stagger home, he needed to use the bathroom. Normally, his friend Ronald McDonald would let him into his employer's building to go, but Ronald was also recently let go. Snoopy, heeding nature's call, decided to go in the local park. That's when police noticed his black spots and arrested him.
The next day, Snoopy, the Aflac duck, and Mr. McDonald held a press conference. Their attorney, Woodstock, explained that Snoopy was doing research for their business plan to open a craft brewery and distillery. Unfortunately, the data from Wednesday night's research was tainted and they will need to do additional research in the coming weeks.
McDonald explained the need for an attorney. "Just when I needed medical treatments to remove the clown make-up from my face, I was laid off. I am talking to lawyers regarding the legality of the timing of the lay off. Employers should not be allowed to lay someone off when they announce the need for medical treatment. I'm just a victim of the current clown phase. So my friends, Snoopy and Aflac duck, offered to help with insurance but then they were both laid off. It's not right!"
Woodstock also noted that Snoopy is a dog and as such, does believe that the world is his toilet. He should not have been singled out for public urination.
