"Shocked but not surprised," stated a front page editorial this morning in the New York Times when it disclosed the proposed legislation in the new GOP dominated United States Congress.
"The legislation cancels 238 years of freedom for the citizens of the US from Great Britain," states the NYT. "FOR SHAME!"
The US will now be a federation with the UK and the new entity is legislated as: The Federation of the United Kingdom & the United States (FUKUS). Many states, particularly those that constituted the original thirteen colonies have formed militias to fight the law. Several states have been excluded from the new law. In an interview with Senator Mitch McConnell, the new leader of the Senate, he explained that the states initially involved with the Louisiana Purchase would be returned to France in exchange for the NRA being given license to set up gun shops throughout the country including shops in convents, cloistered monasteries, Lourdes and Notre Dame Cathedral. He further disclosed that Texas and southern California would be returned to Mexico. "Not much change there," he concluded.
As reporters fanned out across D.C., journalists from the Washington Post cornered Senator John McCain in his office. He was quite agitated and yelled, "We shal fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall never surrender!"
Reporter" Senator, with all due respect, that is what Winston Churchill said at the beginning of World War 2!"
McCain: "One if by land, two if by sea!"
Reporter: "Senator....."
McCain: "Give me liberty or give me death!"
Reporter: "Thanks Senator, we'll check with Senator Graham.
In other breaking news, journalists found Speaker of the House, John Boehner at a local cocktail Lounge. He was sitting at the bar drinking a Beefeaters martini (straight up, twist, no olive). He was crying softly.
Journalist: "Speaker Boehner, what do think of this new legislation giving our country back to the UK?"
Boehner: "Not mush (Hic), ish OK by me."
Journalist: "But Speaker Boehner isn't this going to impact our very existence as a country and isn't it going to change your own life?"
Boehner: "Not going to change my life (Hic) mush at all. Everything (Hic) is jush fine. No changes (Hic. Now...if you will jush excush me, I have to (Hic) go to the...Loo...Hee Hee! Hee! Hee!,(Hic)"
