Written by D P Whitehead

Friday, 8 August 2014


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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image for Troll Shocked To Discover Fellow Trolls Are "Ethnics"

A prolific book reviewer on a popular book review website (and troll cave)is reeling in shock after discovering that some of the members of her online review group are not "white" and that several are teenage girls while one is a registered sex offender.

Beth Varicose, 57 - winner of the 2006 North Florida Best Beard Competition and runner up in last years world cake eating championship - made the horrific discovery after trying to rally her fellow trolls, whom she only knew via their usernames and fake photos, into attacking authors whom "she hated."

"I couldn't believe that 'Cool Guy Eddie' was actually really Mohamed Al Shazbat, and he lived in Dubai - he is one of them Muslim's - I feel betrayed." Scoffing down her second slice of chocolate cake she wiped her sweaty brow before continuing, her hands trembling with fury.

"'Ivy Babe' is actually Asian - from Korea or Japan or one of those places - I thought she was just like me - not some communist. As for 'Book Lover Gal' she is from Nigeria - I have been chatting online with her for weeks - I hope I haven't caught AIDS or that virus."

Varicose was also appalled to discover that half the members of her 'Troll Tribe' are actually 14 year old girls, who write 'LOL' a lot.

Most shocking though, was the revelation that 'Anthony 1945' who has as his profile image a photograph of George Clooney is really Albert Cockwank - a 47 year old convicted flasher who lives in his mom's basement and not the good looking lawyer she had imagined him to me.

"I thought we were all the same, united in our love for books but our hatred for those who write them. I imagined that we could meet up, that finally I would have some real friends - not pretend friends. They are nothing but trolls, but worse than that 'wogs', 'spicks', 'chinks' and 'queers'. I wish people would just be more open," sighed the chubby bitch who posts under the "troll" pseudonym 'Miss Demeanor'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Trolls

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