Speaker John Boehner took to the floor of the US House of Representatives this morning demanding the immediate arrest and extradition of Edward Snowden from Russia. He also demanded an immediate trial and execution of Snowden as a traitor to the country.
Boehner's emotional and angry response is apparently due to a leak from NSA documents that show the agency had bugged and spied upon the men's lavatories in both the Senate and House of Representatives. "This is disgusting," shouted a tearful and irate Boehner. The leaks note that Speaker Boehner sits down to pee as well as well as a large percentage of the GOP delegation. "GOP Senators and House members sit down to pee five times more than their Democratic counterparts," states the leak. It also reveals that GOP members spent three times the amount of time combing their hair and looking at their backsides in the restroom mirrors. One clip from the leaks showed Senator Lindsey Graham in front of a mirror singing Maria's song from the musical West Side Story: "I'm so pretty, Oh so pretty…" Needless to say, Senator Graham is asking the DOJ to ask for the death penalty if Snowden should come to trial.
"It's a matter of who do you trust," said Senate Leader Harry Reid when asked to comment on the clips showing male Democrat Senators and House members mostly belching, farting, picking their noses and scratching their scrotums. "It's not who you want to go to the prom with." He looked over and winked at Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell as he finished.
When House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi was asked to comment on the Boehner revelations she remarked, "I think these leaks are terrible whether they are in the bathroom or elsewhere. This particular business is not the people's business. On the other hand I now have more empathy now for Speaker Boehner and his emotional outbursts at certain times of the month."