Written by Ducksley

Monday, 25 March 2013

image for Hamburger Says It No Longer Needs Helper

Hamburger today announced that it and its longtime collaborator Hamburger Helper have parted ways following a disagreement. "Not to sound arrogant, but I was the more important one," said Hamburger. "Helper would have been nothing without me."

Hamburger claimed that it hasn't been happy in the partnership for several years now, and looks forward to a solo career, saying, "I'm going to enjoy being just a burger or maybe a meatloaf. I mean, I feel sorry for Hamburger Helper. What's it going to do without me? Without Hamburger, it'll just be 'Helper'."

When reached for comment, Helper acknowledged the split, adding, "We had a great run, and I wish Hamburger nothing but the best."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Food




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