Congress Resigns

Funny story written by President Bush

Tuesday, 22 August 2006

image for Congress Resigns
"Congress"

(CNN) - "Nuff said" Letterman told last night's studio audience closing with,

"Well it's about TIME isn't it Paul for cryin' out .. play us somethin' FESTIVE darn ya!"

Sad Secretary State of affairs the United States of America is now in thanks to the 'PUBS .. unless you're a 'CRAT in which case it's all the 'PUB's fault so break out the Bud Lite dime bag welfare checks AND free housing for the homeless poodles with BARK impediments.

President Bush, now without a Congress, soon to be without a Presidency spoke to reporters ..

BUSH -> Congress. Gone? You mean I'M in charge of the planet? LAURA come look!

Israel's Prime Minister still preoccupied by post cease-fire rockets exploding in his jacuzzi was too preoccupied by post-cease-fire rockets exploding in his microwave to even comment about the resignation of the entire Congress of the United States of America.

Ted Kennedy, former U.S. Senator, last Congressman to resign is, according to sources planning on opening his own DC version of Cheers aptly named, "Tipsy Ted'z Lick-uh Joint" just as soon as his funds get in order and he "sobers the heck up" sources say.

Osama Bin Laden, a bit bin-ladenned (saddened) by falling behind in the CNN breaking news ratings promised to release his latest DVDVD "DeFf-2To--MeriCa" just as soon as somebody, anybody gets their eyes unglued from his CNN media competition .. that thing going on in Lebanon and now the Ramsey breaking news psycho of the week, Mark Karr.

Osama, last physically seen by human eyes when Elvis was a toddler has been tracked down, narrowed down even, Osama being, according to official Pentagon sources being "somewhere between the two polar regions of the planet formerly known as Earth."

"Entire Congress's do not usually resign" said one Congressional historian explaining,

"The last time an entire Congress resigned was back in 1776 when Congress, first being born got into a major 18th century ghetto-style MTV brawl about which state would be HEAD state, President George Washington calming the whole affair by tossing buckets of ice cold Potomac RIVER water on the waring state representatives who, just being doused with ice cold Potomac RIVER water pummeled the living snot AND Wooden teeth right out of President George Washington, pummeling him into a state of such Soprano's (episode 12) unconsciousness that President George Washington to this day has yet to recover from."

Former Congressional/Presidential aide Monica Lewinsky told CNN ..

"I don't know why all of Congress quit. I certainly would not quit a job that paid hundreds of thousands per year for simply letting me .."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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