The results of a two-year, $3-million study indicate that throat doctors should be asking their patients to "open up and say oigliieeeeeeee" instead of "say ahhhhhhhhhh."
"We realize this is a huge change after decades of using ahhhhhhhhhh, but our research shows that oigliieeeeeeee more effectively opens the throat for a more thorough examination," said Dr. Hershfeld Blotitz of the Waukeegan Throat and Colon Institute. "Saying oigliieeeeeeee also seems to prevent Spasmodic Uvula Flutter, which commonly occurs when doctors have patients say ahhhhhhhhhh," added Blotitz.
"It's so effective," claimed Dr. Blotitz, "that if we could only get colonoscopy patients to say oigliieeeeeee out of their backside, we wouldn't even have to use a scope."
