Bush Puts Rove in Charge of Roving Wire-taps

Funny story written by Evan Essence

Wednesday, 26 July 2006

image for Bush Puts Rove in Charge of Roving Wire-taps
Rove listening in on American's private conversations

Washington, D.C. -- George Bush spoke at a press briefing, Tuesday night, saying "I am the Decider, and I have decided that it is OK for Karl Rove, to continue listening in on the private phone and internet conversations of American citizens, recorded by NSA surveillance teams. "

Rove....the top strategist for the Republican Party....has a stated political goal of maintaining a permanent Republican majority in Congress...even though the tide seems to be turning against them.

As such, Rove has been listening in on the private conversations of Democratic Party office holders, at every level, and their families and friends, to try and learn their private strategies, their weaknesses and vulnerabilites, and any kind of scandalous behavior which might be used to blackmail or unseat these office holders.

To prevent just such an abuse of power, the 1978 Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, set up a FISA court to issue secret warrants, so the president, under proper overview, could snoop on Americans suspected to be connected with terrorists.

Since Bush has had no trouble getting instant warrants from the FISA court, many commentators are wondering why he has broken the law, and bypassed the warrant process, and set up a secret surveillance program of his own, with a Republican Party strategist, like Karl Rove, in charge.

Bush's response has been, as expected, "I'm the decider, and I've decided that FISA doesn't apply to me."

When it is pointed out to him that his actions violate his Oath of Office, and the US Constitution, Bush replys: "I'm the decider, and I've decided that the Constitution is obsolete, and doesn't apply to me."

Some citizens have given up any desire for autonomy, and find the safety and somnambulance offered by the enslavement to a Republican Big Brother, to be irresitable.

Others are banking on the belief that the vitality of our 200-hundred-year tradition of Democracy will prevail. Every student in the country has studied the wisdom of our Founding Fathers, when they set up a 3-branch system of government, based on "Checks and Balances"...so that no branch would be more powerful that any other. Every student has learned how our Founding Fathers insisted that we have a government of Laws not of Men, and that no man is above the law. Every student has memorized Patrick Henry's famous words "Give Me Liberty, or Give Me Death!"

There is a recent indication that Bush may not, always, be "The Decider" after all. Many staunch conservatives have turned against Bush, viewing him as the biggest and most irresponsible spender in American history, and noting that he has dramatically increased the size of the federal Government, even after Clinton and Gore actually succeeded in downsizing it.

In a opinion poll reported on July 14, only 27% of Americans believe the Republican-controlled Congress is doing a good job. And 24% of Conservatives say they will vote Democratic in the upcoming midterm election.

The tide is turning, and Democrats only need to gain 6 seats to take control of the Senate, and 15 seats to take control of the House.

If the Democrats take control of Congress, in November, it is almost certain, that Bush, and his henchmen, will face Impeachment, if not imprisonment for Treason.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more