Death stalks the Kentucky Derby

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 6 May 2012

image for Death stalks the Kentucky Derby
The race was won by I'll Have Another who 'slaughtered' the opposition

Kentucky - The discovery of an unidentified body in a barn close to the Churchill Downs track yesterday is sparking fears of a racing death hex.

Police sources said the remains of a male were discovered in Lousiville trainer Angel Montano Senior's horse shed at 4:50 am EDT just as the annual May supermoon was waxing high in the sky.

The grim find follows hard on the heels of last year's post-Kentucky Derby tragedy when jockey Michael Baze's body was found in an SUV parked at the track's stables.

A postmortem confirmed the rider died from an overdose, thought to be the equine 'antidepressant' and party drug ketamine.

In 2009 Mind That Bird's famous victory was overshadowed by the unexplained sudden death of a local bookmaker found RIP'd with big wedge of hundred dollar bills stuffed down his throat in what was eventually adjudged a 'gambling suicide'.

The previous year a bloodstock agent from the local Bald American Double Eagle stables vanished without trace hours ahead of the Preakness; his remains were later found in a dumpster parked close to a horse hospital's birthing pool.

Commenting on the string of racing related deaths a Churchill Downs official confirmed a suspicious pattern was being investigated by the track's own security service.

"This is racing, death happens; wanna rock-solid tip for the Preakness next week?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more