Written by MonkeyInTheBath

Sunday, 13 November 2011

image for Rogers rogered by rogerers
Kenny Rogers dispenses gambling advice, for a price...

A group of gamblers called Gamblers Against Songs about Hustling (GASH) are suing Kenny Rogers over his vague gambling advice that he gives in the song "The Gambler".

Tad Jizzmop lost $10,000 at the Mugs Casino in Las Vegas. He said, "I knew I was doing badly, but then I remembered the Kenny Rogers song. It said "you shouldn't count your money while you're at the table" so I didn't. Before I knew it I'd blown all my savings."

Jolene Implants had a similar problem. "I heard that Kenny Rogers song, and it said 'You've got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them.' Well I'm a qualified mathematician and I calculated when was the best time to hold them and fold them. And I still lost! That's just the luck of the draw. I blame Kenny for my massive debts."

The case People vs Kenny Rogers continues, although smart bets are on Kenny to win.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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