Written by tedweasel

Sunday, 17 July 2011

image for Collapse of News International will be catastrophic, claims designer
Barker: "people need choice"

INTERIOR Design guru Linda Barker has called on David Cameron to cease investigations into the activities of the Murdoch dynasty stating that a complete closure of all of it's publications would lead to a major shortfall in floor-coverings in Keighley and several Chav strongholds throughout the UK.

"People spend a lot of time in their homes between signing on and need to feel comfortable there" said the makeover expert, "reducing the number of ranges available will force many to consider broadsheets or other breast-free alternatives" she added.

Mike Gripper, manager of Carpetworld in Keighley, reported that sales of linoleum has tripled over the past week to 3 square metres.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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