Mates-Of-The-Yard: Sorry For The Cock-Up

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 10 July 2011

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Outside Wapping today

London - "This ticking timebomb, it happened on my watch," Mates told the Sunday Hacker this weekend.

"Still, soon blow over, eh?

"Once we've got that bloomin red top and her trolling 'Unka Rupe'... all kinds of stuff could happen, lads!

"Best not mention specifics, of course."

The interview comes amid revelations that something horrid's about to happen to remaining NewsCorpse rank and file.

Commander Mates has taken a lot of stick as a secret taskforce of 'Untouchables' prepares to make good the Met's tarnished image.

Commenting on today's Hacker interview rival publishing organ The Sunday Smearer said in an editorial that heads must roll.

"It's no co-incidence that the Director of Inhuman Resources at the News of the Screws is known by the moniker 'And Dagger', heheheh!"

The reference to NewsCorpse's Daniel Cloke comes amid rumors of collusion into stuff 'that would make your heir (sic) stand on end.'

Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall is 69.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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