Scrimping show slammed by TV watchdog over home electrolysis

Funny story written by IainB

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

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It says "Danger" for a reason

The scrimping and saving show, Waste Not Want Not on the television channel Living has been slammed by the television watchdog after their article on home electrolysis.

"The show demonstrated how to construct an electrolysis device for removing body hair using an old television, a car battery, a pair of tweezers and two hundred and forty volt mains electricity," said television watchdog spokesperson, Jules Platt. "We felt this was a little dangerous."

The television watchdog has a point after there was a sudden rush of people to accident and emergency rooms up and down the country.

"We had a sudden increase in electrical burn cases," said A&E nurse, Mark V. Cortina. "It took us a while to realise what was going on. Some had quite horrendous burns on their faces, some under their arms, and one man - how shall I put this? - won't be having children in this lifetime."

Apparently, the show suggested using the old car battery as a kind of step down transformer to make the two hundred and forty volts a little safer, but the type of people who would attempt a little home electrolysis are not the type of people who should be allowed near electricity.

"Most of the burns cases were caused by poor wiring," said Platt. "The show did not provide sufficient instruction on how to wire the device together, leaving people to deduce it for themselves."

As well as dealing with dangerous electricity, attaching a car battery directly to the mains is a recipe for disaster, and there were a number of sulphuric acid burns, and in two cases coincidentally on the same street in Keswick, house fires.

Ida Cashstrapped, and Una Moneypenny the show's presenters, writers and producers defended their contraption.

"Electrolysis is an expensive treatment," said Cashstrapped. "Our device is perfectly safe when constructed to the show's specifications."

"Doing electrolysis at home is a real money saver," said Moneypenny. "And was a popular part of our last show. So much so, we will be showing housewives how to extract botulism poison from bacterial cultures to do some home botox treatment in our next show."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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