Wallender takes on Assange

Funny story written by j.w.

Monday, 7 February 2011


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The Court Questions Judges Decision

Police Constable Wallender of the Swedish Police has been giving evidence at the trial of Juliam Assange, leaker of secrets Governments don't want us to know about.

Wallender said Assange's assertion that his sexual affairs in Sweden were 'consensual' was clearly untrue.

'If someone is annoying Governments it is obvious they will be forcing women to have sex with them. What is the Law for?'

Defending Assange his legal team have been claiming the affairs Assnage had in Sweden simply showed he was a real man and not some pansy politician.

But Wallender was not finished. 'Swedish justice demands Assange back' he declared 'it is obvious he is behind the disappearance of the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and furthermore he has upset the Americans, especially the one I have always loved, Sarah Palin. I could screw her if she wanted it or not!'

At this the Judge frowned. 'I think the Swedish idea of justice, Police Constable Wallender, is far from satisfactory. Even you have been impersonated by one Kenneth Branagh.'

'That imbecile' exclaimed Wallender 'you push me too far. I realise my senior officers will be unhappy with my approach but they will back me in the end - they always do whatever shambles I create.'

The extradition case continues tomorrow.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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