The ex Wham, Careless Whisper, Last Christmas singer, George Michael has landed himself a short spell in the care of Her Majesty's Prison Service. Maybe he deserved it but would he not have been better off in rehab, paid for by himself thus saving the taxpayer a shed load of money.
Being serenaded by sex offenders in his prison may have upset him but it is hoped that his mobile is wiped clean before his release.
He cannot be expected to appreciate his new cell mate, to whom he has to serve a bedtime beverage humming, "Wank me off before me cocoa", being titled "The Hairless Fister."
Perhaps he would be surprised to learn that he does not have chilblains but uses Vaseline for the relief of chaps. Even more surprising would be his connection with the trapped Chilean miners. Apparently both will be free after eight weeks of heavy drilling.
Let's hope some aide has wiped the crap.
Poor Wayne Rooney has suffered a similar mobile text joke fest but one has to feel sorry for Colleen asking if a £1200, 19 year old Escort bought and paid for by her hubby was taxed and MOT'd.
Aye, you can take the WAG out of Liverpool but George Michael is taking the piss.