Written by queen mudder

Sunday, 29 August 2010

image for MI6 cryptographer Gareth Williams, Peter Mandelson and the Echelon protocols
Echelon is a computerised master snooping brain

London - (Encrypted Mess}: The codes controlling mastery of the UK/US Echelon computerised satellite surveillance brain are notoriously impossible to hack.

Weekend Red Top speculation that dead MI6 cryptographer Gareth Williams had cracked the protocols have gone down like a lead baloon in Langley, West Virginia.

The curiously-named President George Herbert Bush Center For Intelligence (sic) CIA HQ is in uproar amid reports the breach occured circa May 2008.

Additionally, for once in the surveillance giant's 20-year history the breach hasn't been sourced to the Russians.

The software system which controls download and dissemination of commercial satellite trunk communications intercepts had apparently been leeched in a nanosecond window of opportunity linked to Peter Mandelson's mobile.

Off Sardinia's balmy waters Labour's Prince of Darkness was tanning his gaunt machiavellian limbs on Brunei Prince Jefri Archer's ocean going yacht Tits when the news broke this week.

A reported five SIM cards, laid out neatly in Williams' Alderney Street apartment, gave away the deadly secrets of Labour politicians' rise to sudden and inexplicable immense personal wealth.

Created after the Cuban Missal Crisis of 1962 when the Rastzinger cabal made its move towards total world domination Echelon was designed to monitor the military and diplomatic communications of the USSR and its Eastern Bloc puppets.

During the Bush/Blair kleptocracy years NATO intelligence sources said Echelon came under Mafia control for large-scale commercial theft, international economic espionage and invasion of privacy purposes linked to offshore bank accounts owned by George W Bush and Tony Blair.

Since January 2009 the Obama Adminsitration has regularly been assured no further compromises of Echelon protocols have occured.

However, since the mid-May 2010 UK Con-Lib coalition government came into existence evidence of systematic hacking of the security locks has taken place.

And in a further twist it was revealed today that the entire Echelon hacking operation was itself under intensive surveillance from a UK Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency laptop.

"We must consider the possibility that a number of high profile cadavers will come to light soon after the August holiday period," a police source commented.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
71 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more