Written by Stevey G.

Wednesday, 7 July 2010

image for Wolverhampton County Council adopts Sharia Law
'Public-Flogging seems a harsh penalty for dog-fouling', argue critics

In a shock statement today, Wolverhampton County Council have announced that they are to adopt Sharia Law principles in their day to day administration of council business.

The Council statement, presented today by local Muslim councillor, Ahmed Zirools, simply stated that as the majority of residents within the borough were Muslim, that it was only 'just and proper' that they were governed, at least in local affairs for now, by 'proper' Muslim laws derived from the Koran, the example of the life of the prophet, Muhammad and the rulings of Islamic scholars (fatwas).

The Councillor went on to confirm that all residents would be judged under the new rules and laws, both muslim and non-muslim alike.

Ahmed Zirools said that there was 'absolutely no cause for alarm' and offered reassurance that 'capital punishment would only apply in the most severe of cases'.

'Most offences are very minor at council level', he went on to say 'We are talking about excessive noise levels, allowing your dog to foul the pavement, putting your dust-bin out on the wrong night, riding your bicycle on the pavement or putting recyclable rubbish with your normal waste.'

'These minor crimes will simply be punished with a simple public-flogging or stoning'.

He confirmed, 'Amputation or execution will only be used in extreme cases, for example non-payment of council tax or failing to adhere to Ramadan.'

Local Estate agents report an increase in properties being advertised for sale in the Wolverhampton area and at 'very affordable prices'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
61 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more