Helicopters, Hovercraft and Jump Jets - all banned from the Prom

Funny story written by Roy Turse

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

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A parent has been stopped from sending their child to her school Prom by helicopter after councillors refused to give permission for it to land on school property. It is now thought that in order to circumvent the ban, the 11 year-old girl will abseil down from the helicopter into the school playground.

The request is among many that have been made as parents attempt one-upmanship in getting their children to their Proms in the most extravagant way possible. Fancy cars and stretch limos are considered tame by many children and their parents.

Another council has revealed that they were approached by an RAF pilot who wanted to deliver his daughter to her high school prom in a Harrier Jump Jet. Permission for this was turned down because of the risks involved. It is also estimated that the cost of the ride would amount to £25,000.

One arrival that did take place was when Richard Stevenson from Hull took his son Zack to his infant school Prom in a two-seater hovercraft. Zack, 7, had a specially tailored fire-resistant tuxedo made for the event. The head teacher has since said that he will not allow hovercraft to be used in future, because of an accident at the event involving the hovercraft and the school hamster.

The latest application to be made is by Peter and Miriam Marshal of Basingstoke, who want their daughter Chloe sent to her Prom by matter transporter. Chloe, who is four, will leave St Martha's Nursery and Playgroup in a few weeks time, and her parents are determined to give her the most exclusive send-off.

"We looked into all the possibilities," Miriam said, "and we decided matter transporter was the way to go. For one thing it's instantaneous, and it has zero emissions."

The parents believe their application will be acceptable, and have already put the down payment on a pearlescent white matter transporter with chrome trim. However, it is thought the school will be concerned about health and safety issues, and the Marshals have yet to be given a decision.

Mr Marshal is adamant that it will be safe. "It's not like it's dangerous new technology," he said. "We've had matter transporters since Star Trek in the 1970s."

As we went to press with this story, news was coming in of a woman who had applied to send her yet-to-be-born baby to its post-natal class Prom by text message.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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