Are you a politician, especially one who has recently gained more power than you had before, and that the average person will never have? Why take a bicycle when you can take a car? Why take a car when you can take a Chinook helicopter? Fuck that…
NEW YORK CITY - The people at PETA, which stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, are not shy when it comes to stating what is on their mind as CNN's Wolf Blitzer has found out. Blitzer revealed that he received an email from Mimos...
DULUTH, Minnesota - Ezra P. Crackerbee, 73, has always liked to tinker around his garage in Duluth. One day last week as he was putting away some gardening tools he noticed that one of the hoes had some shreds of dandelion weed on the blade. A...
WASILLA, Alaska - It appears that Sarah Palin's free helicopter hunting rides are riding off into the sunset like Roy Rogers and Dale Evans did in so many western films. Cunningham "Caribou" Carbinfeister owner of The Chicka Chicka Helicopter Comp...
The disqualification of Britain's Shadow Chancellor, Ed Balls for cheating during Sunday's final day Bilderberg annual golfing competition means original runner-up, 90 year old Henry Kissinger has now been declared the official winner. 'I suspecte...
ATLANTA, Georgia (ABSNN) - The Learning Channel, once home to NASA, now home to Honey Boo Boo, has signed former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin to a two-year, weekly outdoor, hunting themed show called "Hunting from Hueys." "We are exceptionally plea...
In a statement Buckingham Palace has confirmed that after Queen Elizabeth's fake helicopter jump for the Olympic opening ceremony, her Majesty is to make a real jump from a helicopter. Her Majesty will make the jump this Tuesday at noon. The h...
PROVENCE, France - Close friends of Angelina Jolie have remarked that as the actress has gotten older she has also become a lot more insecure. Bedroom Pillow Talk reported that one of Jolie's very close friends Winnie Suzy Willowick, 37, recently...
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - ABC's The Bachelor contestant Chantelle Martinee was spurned by her former castmates during the 2-hour season finale event, The Ladies Continue to Fight After the Final Picnic on the Beach, Part 4. Martinee, a 21-year-o...
Craven helicopter service made a dramatic rescue of a long-haired fell-runner on Wild Boar Fell this weekend. 65-year-old Bob Dylan was nearing the top of the Fell and was within a hair's breadth of beating his personal best time of 29 minutes.
It has been reported today, that a well-known psychic (who did not wish to be named through fear of ridicule) has confessed to speaking to the notorious Al Qaeda leader, Osama Bin Laden for at least eight years. If these claims are true, then it coul...
There are roughly 1.5 million feral hogs in the Lone Star state. Feral hogs prey on livestock, knock down fences and crap all over crops. Many Texans are fed up with the destructive beasts that are descended from hogs that were brought over by Span...
Early this morning a helicopter that left Yeager airport in West Virginia was lost from the radar and never reached it's destination. Now news is coming out that the helicopter crashed in an isolated area of the Appalachian mountains near the Kentuck...
A man has been sentenced to a year in prison for grabbing a helicopter as it took off in Bristol. Bristol Crown Court was told Houshang Jafari, 58, became "extremely angry" after the helicopter landed near his flat, causing debris to hit his car.
A parent has been stopped from sending their child to her school Prom by helicopter after councillors refused to give permission for it to land on school property. It is now thought that in order to circumvent the ban, the 11 year-old girl will abse...
With all the air traffic around Copenhagen, Denmark for the International Climate Change Convention, you'd think that no particular aircraft would stand out very much. There's commercial airliners, Gulfstreams, Learjets, and everything in between. Th...
In a surprising development, the Chief Traffic Warden for Helmand Province in Afghanistan has issued a dictat that no additional helicopters may be parked in his territory. "I am sick of these arrogant pilots parking in disabled spaces when they h...
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