BNP Membership Soars As Ethnic Minorities Sign Up By The Thousands

Written by Caspar

Monday, 15 February 2010

image for BNP Membership Soars As Ethnic Minorities Sign Up By The Thousands

Following the announcement on Sunday that the British National Party (BNP) had changed its whites-only policy to allow "coloured people" to join the party, thousands of ethnic minorities have rushed to join up.

Nick Griffin, leader of the BNP, said, "This is a proud day for the BNP, and for Britain. We should have opened our doors to this staunch and stalwart section of British society long ago." Asked if he was worried that his party may soon have more non-whites than whites among its membership, Griffin laughed and said, "So what? We're all British underneath, aren't we?"

This unexpected move by the BNP follows demands by the Equality and Human Rights Commission for constitution changes to the political party. The requirement is that the party is seen to be working towards, "continued creation, fostering, maintenance and existence of the unity and of the integrity of the indigenous British." Nick Griffin, however, claims that he was going in that direction anyway, and his party's change of mood just happens to coincide with what the commission are demanding.

Mr Griffin was in a jovial mood at the press conference in the Elm Park bar in Hornchurch on Sunday. One reporter was brutally ejected from the room, but apparantly it was a mistake; Mr Griffin thought he had said something derogatory about ethnic minorities, which of course he had not. "It was an honest mistake," Griffin said later in an apologetic frame of mind. "The reporter said that the party membership would soon be bigger, and I though he'd used the "N" word to describe our ethnic brothers and sisters. An honest mistake."

Mr Griffin, sporting a smart turban, munching a doner kebab and humming a popular Bollywood movie tune, likened his party to the Mormon Church when they finally allowed non-white ethnic minorities to join. "It was a smart move for them too. They could see that by swelling their ranks with people - for they are people after all - the organisation could only prosper. That's how it will be for the BNP. We will have all the ethnic communities of the UK on our side before long, God bless 'em."

Mr Hussein Jamali, a member of an ethnic minority, when asked why he and all his friends were joining the BNP in droves, when the BNP had previously been so outspoken against non-white ethnic minorities, said, "Well, if you can't beat 'em from the outside, join the bastards - now that we can - and beat 'em from the inside!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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