Mother Teresa, the prune faced nun with the heart of gold and the slightly right wing tendencies is not dead. Reports that she had died were a mistake. She was just asleep, but when you look like her it's difficult to tell sometimes.
Mo' T (as she is called by her crew) has moved to Nuneaton in a bid to be nearer the poor and needy. She was recently seen in the town centre force feeding children and insulting Muslems.It is thought that she plans to establish a mission throughout the midlands as it is an area of social and economic deprivation.
One local, Mrs Wendy Spanner, said "She came to visit us. This little old lady dressed like a member of the KKK without the hood entered and said 'Are there any poor people here?' When we told her we were all poor she replied 'Good, I like bullying the poor. Now do exactly as I say. Stop using contraception.' To be honest, me and Mr Spanner have stopped having relations ever since Coventry City were relegated out of the top flight. I blame Jimmy Hill."
There are unconfirmed reports that Pope John Paul II has been seen in Bristol.