Furious exchanges between local councillors marred last night's council meeting at Heavington Town Hall, with local Conservatives branding leading Labour councillor Bob Coalmerchant a left wing loony.
The row erupted after the labour council spent £2 million of council tax payer's money on a French style 'cloche' urinal in the Botch Gate area of the town centre, designed by local artist Damian Bobcap.
"We try to inject a little class into our dreary community," Councillor Coalmerchant announced. "A bit of high art. Something a bit continental and sophisticated, and we get pilloried for it by killjoy Conservatives. Bloody typical..."
"This isn't a question of killjoy Conservatives," Tory councillor Alan Fox-Hunter countered. "It's about wasting good money on something which obviously has a serious design flaw. The bloody screen is too high up man!"
"It's based on a classical French design," Councillor Coalmerchant countered.
"The screen is too high up!" Councillor Fox-Hunter replied. "What's the matter with you man? We have women and little girls flooding into Botch Gate specifically to crouch down, stare at men's exposed willies, point, and giggle. Where's the sense in that?"
"It all depends how big your willie is and whether you're proud of it or not," Councillor Coalmerchant argued. "Mine is like a child's arm holding an apple. I expect yours could be mistaken for a maggot by a serious freshwater angler."
The row rumbles on.
More as we get it.
