Jedward split

Funny story written by Trip Nasti

Saturday, 14 November 2009

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Jedward Split

Tonight's edition of the X-Factor has been thrown in to turmoil amid rumours that the Irish brotherly duo have split, but not how you might think.

Scientists from Oxford university say they have evidence that the Irish duo John and Edward Grimes are in fact a single fame hungry bacteria that has gone through a type of cell division.

Professor Stephen McSalty called me to give an exclusive interview about he and his colleagues findings on the matter.

When asked what affect their findings could have, Professor McSalty suggested that if they were correct then the Jedward phenomenon could be wholly catastrophic.

"Because they have the ability to self replicate at such phenomenal rates they could potentially perform simultaneously at multiple venues throughout the country. The unparalleled malaise spread by the talentless retards could spiral the entire entertainment industry in to a recession of unimaginable proportions."

Simon Cowell was unavailable for comment, mainly because he wasn't asked for any.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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