Westminister [LONDON]: Jacqui Smith announces her intention to fight the next election under the slogan, "Tough on porn, tough on the causes of porn!"
Never one to miss a trick on making the headlines, Jacqui Smith 'lectured' the Media.
"I know one particular newspaper that used to support the Labour Party, that had big breasts on page 3. It is time for women not to be considered objects of desire like this!" Having glared at the gathered journalists, Jacqui haughtily berated them "I'll take questions now!"
"Jeremy Clarkson of The Times. Jacqui, with the birth rates falling in the indigenous population, may I suggest that men get free porn on the NHS. We are basically not breeding enough!"
"Clarkson of The Times!!", Jacqui puffed out, "You drive big cars, to make up for your small privates!!"
Jeremy Clarkson smiled, then countered, "Is the banning of big breasts, made out of envy and the reason why your husband needed to watch porn films. You had to return the expense claims made for those blue movies. Is that why you are now being tough on porn, tough on the causes of porn?"
The assembled media burst out into laughter, then cheered, jeered and clapped! Jacqui Smith was beat.
"Well I have never been so insulted in all my life!!" shouted Jacqui Smith and stormed out of the room, leaving the banner which bedecked the stage, "Tough on porn, tough on the causes of porn!!", forlornly in disarray.
