Boy Scouts are no longer to be permitted to carry knives!
This shock report hit the Scout movement like a tidal wave only last week.
Lord Baden - Powell's grave has been observed to be smoking and there is a rumbling, rotating noise emanating from under the surface of the monument.
The Chief Scout, Lord Peter Mangelson (Business Secretary and Minister With A Finger In Every Pie) is on record as sympathetic to the Boy Scouts' cause.
"There has been an upsurge in Scout-on-Scout knife attacks and we must remove the potential. I see no reason why these children should not be issued with small-calibre firearms to replace their knives" remarks The Dark Lord "and we will see to it that every armed Boy Scout has the opportunity to serve in Afghanistan.
"After all", Lord M continues, "these little buggers are mainly middle-class and have a sense of duty. We must encourage these young, cheap idealists to play a full part in the defence of the nation".
A passing Boy Scout was heard to remark "Ging gang goolie goolie goolie goolie watcha, Ging gang goo, ging gang goo".
