BBC management and children's television producers are facing legal difficulties over the popular children's show In The Night Garden.
Police became involved after a Professor of Decipherology watched the show with his granddaughter (or so he claimed), and recognised regular linguistic patterns hidden within the apparent nonsense language of Igglepiggle, Makka Pakka and Upsy Daisy.
"I watched ten episodes one after another, making notes while trying to decrypt the messages that I was convinced were hidden beneath the gibberish," explains Professor Cole. "It was an exchange between the Tombliboos and the Pontipines concerning a ride in the Pinky Ponk that unlocked the mystery. I guess you could say it was my Rosetta Stone!"
As the secret language of the show began to reveal itself, Professor Cole found himself subjected to a torrent of foul language.
"I was shocked to discover that children across the world are being subjected to this tirade of lavatorial language and graphic sexual terms."
Professor Cole has previously attempted to close England's M25 motorway, claiming that cars were being arranged on the road in such a way as to send binary signals to an alien attack force based on the Jupiter's third moon.
