Gang members of the world hear me now, the time to down arms has come. Drop those blades, put away the shooters and muzzle the black eyed staffys, there's a new weapon in town.
Yes it seems that the street youth of today have managed to out do themselves with originality once again. Not content with holding up old ladies with kitchen knives for a pension book and some boiled sweets, a duo of insufferable little turds from Bristol pinned down a fourteen year old boy and forced the Python to bite the teenagers hand.
When the Ambulance crew arrived at the scene, one of the paramedics (with the help of his phone) managed to google what type of snake it was. Luckily it was not poisonous. This time.
Star of the cult hit film 'Snakes On A Plane' Samuel L. Jackson has spoken out to reassure everyone that if any similarities are picked out between the incident in Bristol and his "fine ass" (his words) piece of acting on screen then they are just coincidences and therefore he is not liable to be sued.
This story only begs one key question to be asked. Is this the start of copy cat assailants. Will next weeks papers be full of barnyard street capers. I can see the headlines now, "Tigers used to rob Fort Knox", "Jewelery stealing seagulls trained by KGB". And the worst of all. "Cadburys chocolate factory ransacked by BEARS"
Only time will tell.
