Written by Pointer

Friday, 3 July 2009


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Chelsea's Ashley's Cheryl Cole 's Nipples were Designed by Alexander McQueen
McQueens new nipples were first conceived on a beach on the Isle of Whit

Alexander McQueen has crafted some of the most posh outfits from Chelsea's athletic supporters to the gowns for the biggest balls in London. Cheryl Cole unveiled a McQueen first and original when she displayed the eite designers first pair of women's nipples for Cheryl's big Birthday suit bash.

McQueen told the Fashionista Diaretista that one of his biggest challenges has been overcoming the shrunken nipple syndrome that occurs in fashion conscious starlets:

"The wealthy poor dear puke, starve and shit their way to thinness but they pay a price in the nipple department. These anorexic bulimic diet pill and diarrhea ridden mental cases basically lose the whole nipple and most of the areole. Then they want to go semi topless and they make my hardly a dress at all look foolish. So I invented the paste on titty nipple and areole. That's waht saved my stunning creation for Ashley's big birthdat suit bash. For next season I'm working on developing butts for the wasting syndrome beautiful people!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more