Written by IN SEINE

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

image for Sir David Attenborough gives his life to save the planet
"What's for dinner today?"

Veteran programme maker, Sir David Attenborough has joined a new group that is dedicated to reducing the population of humans on this planet. He has become the patron of the Optimum Population Trust.

He told In Seine News; "The rate of growth of the human population has been alarming and has had a massive effect on wildlife with many species being threatened even to the point of extinction!

He was only talking to an Indian elephant the other day in Zimbabwe [he was a bit lost] who simply said "this planet ain't big enough for the both of us, so one of us must go!" The statement really got me thinking and I thought; "yes, he has got a point." There are only about 750,000 elephants on this earth, whereas there are over 6 billion human beings and many of them are full of cancer, mental instabilities, methane and meat that comes from many of the endangered species.

Sir David, with a tear in his eye, added; "I have been on this planet for more than 75 years and I have probably filmed every possible creature and you can clearly see that we are to blame for their demise. I am really tired of making films now, and soon there will be no more animals to film and I believe that my job is done and that I should set an example by giving my life away for those I love and I would expect many people to follow my example. I wouldn't hope that at least some wormsand vultures would benefit from me.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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