Bowkers Last Supper

Funny story written by Danny Buckle

Friday, 27 February 2009


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The cockerel crows and the ghoul has arisen. It's the last supper for the East Coast Main Line


Richard Bowker is a graduate of the Richard Branson school of management but with none of the aptitude. Flitting from job to job and leaving a trail of destruction in his wake with his "I'll have a go" attitude is Bowker's calling card.

He has crucified what was left of the east coast mainline by withdrawing all on-board catering, ending years of tradition that was a source of pride for the company, the industry and the country.

No Mercy

Skulking at the foot of the cross while collecting every last drop of blood to serve up to the greedy shareholders Bowker quipped. "As usual I'll be out of here before the body is cold." He showed no mercy in driving the final nail into the groaning corpse of the old GNER.

After yet more job cuts the East Coast is now running on a skeleton staff so reduced the Government are going to need orthopaedic surgeon to rebuild it once National Express have finished with it.


He's certainly developed a taste for ruthlessness said one employee weeping uncontrollably. She was then led away and tied to the tracks in York station as a sacrifice to the God of profitability.

Bowker claims the buffet service was loosing £20million a year. It wasn't before he arrived on the scene.


The Government are also tainted in this tragedy as National Express will point to the massive premium they have to pay in return for the joy they get from carving up the service. They've starved the business and now they're starving their customers whilst making them pay the highest rail fares in Europe.

Don't be surprised if this venture goes tits up after all this is the man that presided over the SRA before it was disbanded in disgrace. But don't worry he'll have washed his hands of it long before the ink is dry on the death certificate.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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