House Of Horrors - Police Search Continues

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Monday, 24 November 2008

image for House Of Horrors - Police Search Continues
Bad Things Happen Behind Closed Doors

Burnley, Lancashire, 5 minutes ago. - As the world's press gathered outside a modest semi detached house on the outskirts of this Lancashire mill town, a succession of grim faced police officers entered, left, then re-entered, sometimes carrying sinister things that have earned this modest property its House Of Horrors soubriquet.

It's really grim in there,' a young officer, clearly fighting his emotions told us. 'I've never seen anything like it. The horror...'

'Unbelievable,' a colleague muttered as he passed.

'How could they? How COULD they?' said another, fighting to hold back tears.

The drama started this morning when police officers raided the property and took the owners into custody. Shortly afterwards, an officer emerged, clearly carrying a Betamax video recorder.

At which point the world press feeding frenzy began.

Hardened reporters could only gasp in shock and awe as police emerged from time to time, bearing horrific objects which they placed reverentially in the back of a police van.

Among these objects, this reporter can confirm, were a formica topped table, a lava lamp, a box of CD's by the likes of Cliff Richard, a DVD of Spice World, the Spice Girls movie, a framed print of an oriental woman with strangely green skin, a Spanish donkey souvenir, a kiss me quick hat, a Relax tee shirt, a pair of beetle crushers and a Madonna on tour poster.

The final straw was when an officer emerged pushing a velour sofa, followed by a colleague toting a fondue set.

'Who'd have thought it?' a horrified neighbour mused. 'They seemed like such nice people who were always polite yet kept themselves to themselves. It's shocking is this.

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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