Donations to the Children in Need appeal have already started flooding in two weeks early and 95% of the donations are from people wishing to keep shamed potty mouth Jonathan Woss off the air and suspended indefinitely.
Pudsey was unavailable for comment, but a spokesperson for Pudsey told us: 'Bugger off, its none of your business,' and denied the rumours that Pudsey unavailable because he was in court after taking a shit in the woods, and ruining his guests' picnic.
Terry Togman Wogan was more forthcoming about the whole affair, speaking through a sober interpreter he was quoted as saying: "That effin Woss, thinks he's so effin funny. It's all scripted you know, that's why the public hate him, he's an effin basst... I love you I do, you're great. . .Arse. . .drink. . .feck. . .Drink.'
With two weeks to go and the BBC set to reach another record in donations, the organizers are already planning a follow up for next year. They plan to get Jonathan Woss pissed with Prince Phillip and send them to a convent girl's school with a film crew.