Arthur Pewty Denies Global Domination Plot

Written by Skoob1999

Tuesday, 21 October 2008

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No Weapons Of Mass Destruction Here, Claims Arthur Pewty

In yet another dramatic doorstep interview, Neasden hard-man, gangster, and notorious underworld crime kingpin, Arthur Pewty, 53, earlier today denied being involved in a plot to secure total global domination for himself and his wife, the glamorous Beryl.

Pewty said: 'Let's get this straight. I have no plans for total global domination. I have no weapons of mass destruction. I am not the proud possessor of a remote Pacific island hideaway equipped with inter continental ballistic missiles or death ray machines staffed by thousands of people wearing orange boiler suits.'

Pewty also denied rumours that he had attempted to slowly torture James Bond to death.

'I don't know where on earth you people get your information,' he continued. 'I'm just a regular bloke who works shifts in a factory.'

He then promptly told us to 'bugger off' and leave him alone, adding 'we really don't need this.'

More on Arthur Pewty as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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