Written by ej moore

Friday, 7 May 2004

image for Madonna ends land row "Rambling okay but no shagging"

ASHCOMBE, WILTSHIRE - Madonna and her husband have ended their row with the Countryside Agency and Ramblers' Association over sightseer rights to cross a designated area of her 1,200 acre retreat.

"I have dropped the suit," said Madonna in a press conference outside the Royal Chase Hotel in Shaftesbury, Dorset. "Rambling is okay but no shagging. If anyone shags on my property, it will be me."

To take advantage of the millions of sightseers who will be traipsing across her estate, Madonna plans to install concession stands along the ramblers' route selling popular American snacks, sweets and Madonna Reinvention Tour merchandise. A large profit is anticipated.

"Madonna may be a tart," said a spokeswoman for the Countryside Agency, "but she's a reasonable tart."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Madonna, Countryside

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