Karen Matthews hires spokeswoman

Funny story written by Joey Joe Joe Jnr Shabadoo

Wednesday, 16 April 2008

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Mrs Matthews' spokeswoman, Betty Baps

Karen Matthews, mother of Shannon Matthews, is following in the footsteps of the McCanns and hiring a former newsreader to be her family's spokesperson.

Unlike the McCanns though, who are represented by former BBC correspondent Clarence Mitchell, the Matthews clan have only been able to secure the services of Betty Baps, who used to present topless news on L!VE TV.

In her first briefing as spokeswoman for the Matthews family, Miss Baps said "Alright, dahlin?! Kazza Matthews is a well good mum, innit tho? She's a pucker parent. She never knew nuffink about her boyf Craig being a perv."

When asked to comment on the charges brought against Karen Matthews for child neglect and perverting the course of justice, she said "Oy! I ain't got nuffink to say about that. It's all legalistic and thing. But she ain't no perverting. That's her boyf!"

We tried to explain that perverting the course of justice has nothing to do with sexual perversion but Miss Baps just offered to show us her breasts.

"It's all for a good cause. We want Shanna back with her mum where she belongs, kind of thing. Kazza's innocent. She is the People's Pram Face."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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