Wiltshire - (Rioters): Mystery surrounds the suicide of a police bodyguard found with fatal gunshot wounds at Camilla's Wiltshire house today.
The 55 year-old security chief had been excluded from the Duchess's current freebie cruise of the Caribbean.
Sergeant Jim Bergerac had recently pointed out Camilla wouldn't need 30 full-time armed officers on the jolly, nor a fully-manned SAS gunboat, two 24/7 helicopter patrols, five battleship cruisers and a Metropolitan Police dog handling unit "in case of pesky islander natives who might have been tempted to maul her with inappropriate handshakes."
Bergerac, 55, was found with three gunshot wounds to the head in what Royal Protection Squad chiefs have described as a "clear case of suicide."
Camilla and Charles were informed of the incident early this morning and have spent the day sloshed after downing three dozen bottles of '96 vintage Krug reserved for special occasions such as the Puppet Monarch' death.
Prince Harry is busy polishing his rifle.
