PM: Climate change 'a critical issue'

Funny story written by Evan Owen

Wednesday, 28 April 2004

The issue of climate change is now 'very, very critical indeed' the Prime Minister said yesterday.

Speaking at the launch of the Climate Group, Mr Blair told the audience that climate change is 'the single most important long-term issue that we face as a global community, but not a lot of people care.'

The Climate Group aims to reduce the amount of greenhouse gas released into the atmosphere, they will be sent up there to absob it.

"We are committed to the Kyoto Protocol," said the Prime Minister. "We believe it is essential that we have that implemented, whatever it is all about."

"With this in mind I announce that with immediate effect that all Members of Parliament (MPs), not the same as Prime Ministers (PMs), should refrain from speaking for a period of 50 years, this should reduce the harmful effects of the copious amounts of hot air these people emit on a daily basis"

However, he warned that even if the Kyoto Protocol was implemented, it falls 'significantly short' of what is needed over the next 50 years.

He added: "Further measures will be required to reduce the emissions of hot air from public bodies such as the Financial Services Authority, the 'Devolved' Welsh Assembly Government and the and Scottish Parliament"

"We need to be building a clearer understanding of the fact that even with Kyoto we are still a long way short of what we actually need to do. And we've got to build support in the political institutions of which we're a part in order to make sure that that case is properly understood, so I must stop blabbing NOW" Mr Blair said.

He continued: "The cost of not acting in this case is so overwhelmingly greater than any short-term cost of action, that we have to act and we have to act now."

Please shut up Mr Blair and stop "Mr Two Jags" Prescott from breathing and farting so that the rest of us can survive.

Reporter: Spot the dog


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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