Hasnat Khan was Diana's heroin mule inquest told

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 14 January 2008

image for Hasnat Khan was Diana's heroin mule inquest told
Diana and Hasnat Khan led the Drugs Squad a merry dance the court was told today

London - (Narcotic Ass Mess): The inquest into Princess Diana's death has heard that Hasnat Khan was her top UK heroin smuggling mule and that the romantic spin was a well-run smokescreen.

The court was told that the pair were regularly bugged by UK cops and the CIA which conducted surveillance on all the Princess's narcotic business activities.

"Most of her smack wholsesalers were Taleban lieutenants of Osama Bin Laden," an senior ex-spook told the court today, "and dealt exclusively with Hasnat Khan on the Pakistani-Afghan border where he kept his warehouse.

"Her first forays into drug running on a commercial scale resulted from contacts made in 1992 during her India tour when she was famously pictured outside the Taj Mahal looking gormless, pinned out from her daily heroin fix and bulimic."

Diana and Hasnat Khan's narcotics business profits were regularly ploughed back into arms dealing as well as smuggling nuclear secrets which eventually aided Pakistan to develop its own nuclear missile capability.

One year before her death the UK taxman even sent her a final demand for unpaid income tax of over £2.5 million relating to all her drug and arms smuggling activities, a top HMRC source informed the court.

The hearing continues.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more