Man Fined for Farting on Train

Funny story written by Super Sleuth

Monday, 17 December 2007

image for Man Fined for Farting on Train
A train similar to the one farted on by Mr Snodgrass

Mr Ronald Snodbury, 44, of Hemsbury in Yorks was fined yesterday for Farting on a train in an unacceptable manner.

Mr Snodbury was travelling to Leeds on the 1:45 pm when the ticket collector heard him emitting loud eruptions from his rear end.

"I had been given a prodigious quantity of beans" said Mr Snodbury "by my wife who is trying to save money on her shopping budget. My digestion isn't good at the best of times and on this occassion I am afraid I couldn't help myself"

Giving evidence in court, the ticket collector, Mr A. Hilter, said that an offensive smell had assaulted his nostrils and the noises were disturbing other passengers in carriage. "I had no alternative but to stop the train at the next station and summon the British Transport Police!"

When asked why he hadn't requested Mr Snodgrass to refrain from farting, he replied that he was afraid that the defendent may have become violent. When questioned as to why this might be so he replied that Mr Snodgrass was looking at him in a funny way.

Mr Snodgrass was arrested and charged with a breach of the peace, he was later fined £150 in court when he was found guilty by Miss Sonya Hitter, 75, the presiding magistrate.

Summing up she said that she'd seldom heard a more disgusting tale and was only sorry she could not impose a custodial sentence. "Farts belong in the toilet and not on public transport" she said, hoping that this would serve as a warning to others who might consider emitting noxious gases whilst on the railways.

Lawyers representing Mr Snodgrass intimated that the judge was either senile, extremely senile or completely off her rocker and said they would appeal the sentence and take it to the House of Lords if necessary.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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