Former convent's topless hotel plans in jeopardy

Written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 26 September 2007


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Tenby, Pembrokeshire - (Ass Mess): Plans for a former convent to be converted into a topless hotel servicing the upper end of the hospitality and lapdancing club niche market have gone awry in Tenby.

An application for St Teresa's Convent Hotel to advertise its services was rejected by officials at Tenby Town Hall today.

Councillors objected that a semi-nude nun on the hotel's signboard "looked suspiciously like the Mayor's mistress Mrs Daisy Cuttlefish" - also known locally as Luscious Miss Lollipops.

The hotel's developer said he had not seen the design and had no idea about the Mayor's personal or extra-marital arrangements whatsoever.

But councillors were adamant that the singboard depicting a nun lifting her up habit was disgraceful and scurrilous "especially as Mrs Cuttlefish is the town's official mortician".

Work on the hotel has now temporarily ground down to a halt as the owner and developer consult to review the entire range of topless services the hotel is due to provide including a restaurant and bar, spa and Swedish sauna, gymnasium and pool as well as a host of specialised alternative therapies such as colonic irrigation practices.

"We have always believed there was room for innovation in the hospitality market," a spokesman for the would-be hoteliers said today.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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